How to deal with our problems - a guide for older children
- Exciting Education
- Mar 1
- 2 min read
Updated: Mar 5
Understanding Our Bargaining Style Is Important.
Bargaining styles are the different ways people try to sort out arguments or disagreements. Sometimes, especially when we are feeling under pressure, angry or upset, we may not always be very good at this. How you bargain can change how happy everyone is at the end, whether you stay friends and whether you get into more trouble.
The Three Main Bargaining Styles
Aggressive: This is when someone shouts, threatens, is unkind, ignores others’ feelings, or even hurts someone. They want their own way no matter what and they give little thought of how their actions will impact others.
Passive: This is when a person stays quiet or refuses to discuss, keeps their feelings hidden, lets others decide things for them, or just hopes the problem will go away, even when they feel very unhappy.
Assertive: This means talking calmly, being fair, explaining your side, listening to other people’s points of view and trying to find a solution that works for everyone.
How Do You React When You Are Under Pressure?
Some people get aggressive, not caring who they upset. Some go quiet, keep their feelings to themselves, and feel terrible. Both of these methods can damage friendships and make things worse.
Others are assertive, trying hard to stay calm, talking things through and trying to solve the problem together. This isn’t always easy and we sometimes need help to do this. However, this often helps you make friends, earn respect, and usually works out better for everyone.
What’s Most Important To Remember?
The way you handle arguments affects both what you get and how good your friendships are.
Sometimes, we copy how we learnt to bargain when we were younger, even if it’s not the best way.
We need to recognise how we bargain when we are under pressure and be honest with ourselves. No one gets this right all of the time.
The great news is anyone can practise and get better at bargaining. It’s a skill, like riding a bike or learning to swim. It only gets better with practise and we can help you!
How do we know this works?
We have been teaching children how to improve their bargaining for nearly 10 years and have seen many of them get better at this. They tell us they are happier at home and at school, that they have better friendships and that they even sleep better at night! If you want to get better at bargaining, ask your parents or school to find out more about what we do or to contact us.
